- Come on, hurry! - Faster!
Come on, Sneaker, there's a train coming.
Come on, you know we've got a train to catch.
I thought you could do sixty on the flat?
- And this is on a slope! - Yeah, downwards!
Come on! We'll miss it!
Quickly!
- Come on, hurry! - Faster!
- See you back there. - Right.
Right, come on, then.
Oh, it's you lot.
- Is this train on time today? - Four minutes late.
I appreciate you will soon be redundant,
but, speaking as a shareholder,
don't you think it's incumbent upon you to make our trains run on time?
One of these days, I'll find out exactly what you get up to on this train.
Then watch out!
Okay?
♪ I'm telling you how
♪ I'm telling you why
♪ I'm telling you when
♪ Get onto the system
♪ It's crazy, it's cool
♪ You think that it's great
♪ But you find out too late it's cruel
♪ Come on with the sweet talk
♪ Be moody and mean
♪ Give nothing away, keep playing and a-hey
♪ In summer you'll make a winter's heartache
♪ Get onto the system and shine
♪ Moving with the system is fine
♪ When you reach the end of the line
♪ Then it's goodbye
♪ So live for the moment
♪ There'll be time to pay
♪ Don't let's come an end for tomorrow, forget today
♪ Come on with the sweet talk
♪ Come on with the smile
♪ For love is a cheat
♪ Though it's brief, can be sweet
♪ But bitterness comes in a very little while ♪
Come on, let's get back to the second-class material.
♪ I'm telling you how
♪ I'm telling you why
♪ I'm telling you when
♪ I'm telling you now
♪ When you play the system, you'll learn
♪ Every bridge you cross you will burn
♪ Then you'll find there is no return
♪ You're on your own
♪ Get onto the system and shine
♪ Moving with the system is fine
♪ When you reach the end of the line
♪ Then it's goodbye ♪
- You take this one. - Right.
Hello.
Is this anybody's seat?
- No, it isn't. - Good.
- Are you going down on holiday? - Yeah, I've got a week.
Oh, that's nice, so have I.
- Let's hope I'll see something of you. - Yeah.
♪ I'm telling you how
♪ I'm telling you why
♪ I'm telling you when
♪ I'm telling you now
♪ Get onto the system and shine
♪ Moving with the system, so fine
♪ When you reach the end of the line
♪ You're all alone
♪ You're all alone ♪
Stop is Roxham.
Roxham!
Hey, Tinker. There's a couple of good ones up this end.
Looks like a job for the camera.
Hey, Sneakers, that girl in the first-class compartment.
Keep an eye on her.
There.
Smile please, for a photograph of the happy arrival.
Was ist? Ah!
- German? - Ja.
Der Souvenir auf das Happy Arrival.
That'll be three shillings. Pay me now or later.
- Three? - Eins, zwei, drei.
Now, if you'll just give me your names and addresses,
we'll send the photographs on to you.
Erm... Helga Mett.
Double T.
- Mit double T. - Ja.
- Und sieben und zwanzig Robelstrasse. - Nein, nein Fraulein.
Nicht at home! Your address here.
Boarding house, hotel.
- Oh, ja. - Where are you staying?
- Mrs Kelsham. - Aha.
Und, um... 25 Union Road.
- Fine. Both of you? - Ja. Both of us.
I will see you... around.
Oh!
Around.
Couple of Deutsche birds. Here's the address.
Get anything?
Oh, usual stuff. Down for the week.
She's a bit thick, but it might come in useful. Here's her address.
- Tinker? - Yeah?
This is my cousin David.
- Hi. - Hello.
What about the girl in the First Class?
Man met her. Oldish. Could have been her father.
Well, what we haven't got now, we can pick up later, can't we? Hmm?
Hey, man! If my father worked a little harder
I could have had one of these.
And look who's in there.
- Dolce vita! Dolce vita! - Want a ride in this, hmm?
I'll do a swap with you, darling.
- How about a smile for the great reading public? - It's Anita Ekberg!
Can you show a bit more leg?
Pound to a penny you don't make it.
You're on.
♪ Do not trust him, gentle maiden
♪ Do not trust him, gentle maid
♪ Do not trust him, gentle maiden
♪ Do not trust him, gentle maid ♪
You're just a load of litter louts.
He's not a litter lout, he's a tourist.
And tourists can do what they bloody well like.
Come in.
Hello, Suzy.
How are you?
I haven't seen you for a couple of days.
Oh, I've been busy.
I suppose I'm going to have to wait until the season's over
before I see you again?
You won't have to wait long, will you?
Two weeks, and it's all over.
How are you making out?
Oh, not bad.
Sammy's overboard for you, you know.
He told me.
He's better than that creep I saw you with last night.
Oh, he's all right.
Is he? Good.
Are you going on the Prom tonight?
It's Saturday night, darling.
Sometimes I get sick of the summer.
Yeah.
Still got this one.
Yeah, it's good of you.
Mmm.
Do you like this?
Fine.
Yeah, it's all right, isn't it?
You going?
Yes, I think I'll go and see if anything's happening up at the Palm Court.
I suppose you're hunting the thrushes?
Well, it's the sport of the season.
Well, what's the sport of the season, then?
The birds.
- Thrushes. - Girls.
For three months, this place is thick with them.
You haven't been down here in the winter before, have you?
After six o'clock, nothing moves in the street at all.
Everybody's at home watching telly,
and the girls are the same girls you knew last year,
only they're usually getting engaged to somebody.
Even in a warm winter, you could die of cold after September.
So we make it when we can,
like everybody else down here.
What do you make, exactly?
The best of what's going.
Gives you something to look forward to during the winter.
And something to look back on.
Now, what's the first thing everybody does when they arrive?
A wash, a bite to eat, and out on the Prom to look around.
So we're on the Prom Saturday to look over the new birds in town.
What if you all want the same one?
Well, there's a rota.
We take in turns for first choice. First, first. Second, second. And so on.
No time wasted squabbling.
It's all a big giggle.
We all work in the places they go.
I work in a café.
I'm on the pedalos.
I'm on the speedboats.
Tinker's a beach photographer.
We're everywhere, so we meet them all.
And when you get a girl, you take her to the Blue Bear.
Ask for a short. A double.
It's a beer house, but she doesn't know it.
That way it only costs you a couple of bob for beer or cider,
But it looks as if you're going to spend big money,
and all grocks like to see money being spent.
Grocks?
Grockles.
Holiday-makers.
Most holiday-makers are grockles.
But the real ones you can spot a mile off.
Usually they wear shorts, woollen socks, and thick black leather shoes,
with their shirts undone all the way down the front
so that you can see the full extent of their manly chests.
Or he wears a white open-necked shirt,
wide braces and 24-inch grey flannel trousers.
- They arrive in grockle wagons... - Charabancs.
- Eat grockle food... - That's anything, as long as it's with chips.
And is never seen without his grockle box.
- A thirty bob camera. - In simulated leather case.
And invariably carries his grockle comforter.
Transistor radio.
And spends most of his days in grockle traps.
Gift shops.
The grockle is closely related to the troglodyte.
The troglodytes lived in a natural cave,
stoned their grandparents to death,
and came out three times a year for food.
The grockle puts his grandparents in an old folks' home,
lives in a pre-cast concrete cave,
and comes out once a year to make a religious pilgrimage
to the sea from whence he came.
There, he ceremoniously rolls up his trousers,
and dips his feet into the water.
Nidge? Where were you this evening?
Um... I got held up.
Nidge, if people drop out, the whole things falls down.
- Tonight... - Yeah, all right, I'll... I'll try.
Pint, please, Fred.
- Best or cooking beer? - Come on, do me a favour.
Even the best is none too good.
Hello, Tinker.
Hello, Ella. How are you?
All right.
How's Stan?
It's his birthday.
He's taking me out for a meal between shows.
Big deal!
I see.
He'll be at the theatre till twelve.
You wouldn't like to call round earlier, would you?
On his birthday?
It's his birthday, not mine.
Well, I can't tonight, Ella. I've got to, um... see a man.
Damn you.
You know how it is, baby.
See him tomorrow night.
I can't, baby, it's arranged for tonight.
It's not a man, is it? It's a girl.
Look, Ella, why don't you concentrate on giving your husband
a happy birthday for once?
He's getting too old for birthdays.
Where's it all going on, then?
Don't know. Sammy's on the trail of a party,
and we're to meet outside the Palm Court at eight.
- These the two Deutsche birds? - That's them.
I don't think much of yours.
- Whose turn is it? - Mine.
- All right, who was first last week? - I was.
- Who's after Grib? - Hey, Tink, you're after me.
They're yours, then.
I don't want them.
Two nice little Deutsche Fräuleins hot from Bangerland?
Eager to give us reparations for starting the war?
Oh, they're not that eager.
Hey, what about this one?
She's not playing.
- You reckon? - Oh, come on!
All right, then, since I have first choice,
I choose her.
So which are you after? The girl or the car?
I'm not fussy.
There they are.
There's Sammy and his cousin.
Hope he's found something.
Suzy has. Dig that!
Looks like a good year for understanding between the generations.
I've got a great party. Suzy tipped me off.
The Buick man's giving it for his daughter.
- Can she row us in? - Well, says it's worth a try.
It's on the coast road.
But they're terribly fond of young people.
I suppose that could include us.
Drive on, coachman!
♪ ...always be an England
♪ An England there will be
♪ For England is a lovely place
♪ Until it stops for tea ♪
Hey man, this must be the place.
Yeah. Yeah, big deal.
- Like a motor show. - All I want's a decent bird.
I'm with you there.
Few bob here, no doubt about that. You know what I mean?
Looks like Buckingham Palace.
Wonder where the flunkey is.
Ah, good evening, my man.
I'm afraid we're a touch latish.
Trouble with the Rolls.
I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
- Thank you. - Take me to your leader.
Well, it's all happening.
All right, men. Let's get stuck in.
Oh, look, there's a lovely man with a bottle.
We're making a late delivery.
Well, can I be on your panel?
Delivery men don't have panels, they have rounds.
Are you coming round, then? Goody!
Round where, for instance?
I had one the other day, but they cancelled it and warned it only lasts eight hours.
Oh! At least we'll have the evening free.
Good lord, it's Old Porky.
Oh no, it is not.
No, I didn't think it was. Who are you, then?
My name is Count Down.
I made all my money out of the cure for fallout.
Or dandruff, as you call it, Johnny.
Who did he say he was?
It's Old Porky.
No, it isn't.
Well, if it isn't Old Porky, why does he go around calling himself Old Porky?
Ah, there's Old Porky.
I like the bit about a cure for fallout.
Good.
Drink?
Thanks.
Whose party is this, anyway?
His. His name's Philip.
He's rented the house for Regatta Week.
Very rich. Very nice. Madly attractive friend of Daddy's.
That's Daddy.
And who's she?
That's Nicola.
Philip's daughter.
I suppose you want me to introduce you to her, too?
Yes.
Oh, Nicola, darling.
- Hello, Sylvie. - Are you the hostess?
Yes, I suppose I am.
I always dance with the hostess first.
All right.
Do you or don't you want me to introduce you?
My name's Tinker.
Nicola.
And mine's Sylvie.
Why Tinker? Is your name Taylor?
Very good.
A successful hostess has to be able to make conversation on all levels.
Was the photograph all right?
Certainly.
I'll show it to you sometime.
I'd like to see it sometime.
Have we run out of conversation?
All right, I'll take over.
What are these, the eyes of your old lovers?
They're Cornelians.
Oh, the eyes of Cornelia's old lovers?
Do you talk like that, too?
What's it called, er... flip talk?
I bet you don't like it because you can't do it.
All right, try me.
Okay. What shall I try you for?
You don't have to. I'm not guilty.
How do you know you're not guilty?
Everybody's guilty nowadays.
Then I shall plead diminished responsibility.
Ha ha! You can't plead diminished responsibility unless you're a dwarf.
That's very good.
What about innocence?
Are you innocent?
Or virtue?
Are you virtuous?
Are you?
Let's go and have a drink.
Rover!
Some party.
He's certainly got something I haven't.
Money.
- Look, Sammy, don't start again. - Oh, I know, it's all play.
Still, we're not made for marriage, are we?
Maybe I should have waited till next time we met.
Yes, that would have been a change.
Tomorrow I might have wanted to kiss you. Very much.
And what if I weren't around tomorrow?
Then I'd have had to kiss someone else, wouldn't I?
Nicola!
I'll be around somewhere tomorrow.
- On the beach. - Nicola!
We'll see. I must go.
Come on. I'll show you the sights of Roxham.
No luck, then?
And I make a very good cup of coffee.
Why not?
- Hello, Tink. - Hi.
How are you? You're up early.
- It's twelve o'clock. - Yeah, I know.
But twelve o'clock's the crack of dawn Sunday, isn't it?
You know, I may have to work, but you could be in bed
educating yourself with the Sunday newspapers.
Oh yeah?
How's Sonia?
- She's all right, Tink. - What's up, then?
She's pregnant.
She's in the family way, Tink.
Oh!
You nit.
You bloody nit.
What the hell do you want to go and do something like that for?
Well, I didn't want to go and do it, you fool.
- It just happened. - Just happened! Hah!
I suppose you weren't even there.
Has she been out with other men?
Now wait a minute, look...
Well, you don't want to pay for something you didn't buy, do you?
No, she hasn't.
Well, she'll have to get rid of it, won't she?
- I don't think we'd... - Don't think. Tell her.
You won't, though, will you?
I can tell by the dim expression on your face
you're going to end up in some ugly little bungalow
full of three ply furniture.
And four square feet of lawn to mow every Saturday morning.
Aren't you?
Oh, Miss, do you sell pots of meat paste?
No, I'm sorry.
Well, have you got owt like that?
No, only sandwiches.
Oh, give us a couple of bottles of pop then,
and a stick of rock for the kids.
We can always get meat paste in Skegness, you know.
What are you going to do, then?
I'm fond of her, Tink.
But you hadn't planned on marrying her?
No.
There you are, then.
Well, what am I going to do, Tink?
I'll get you an address.
Suzy's got one.
And you make her go to it.
Hello, Sonia.
Hello, Sonia, how are you?
Fine, thanks.
Well, I suppose better be going, eh?
Yes. We said we'd be there to look at the flat at one.
Looking at a flat, are you?
Yeah, well I've got to move out of my place, see?
I thought for a moment you were setting up home together.
Yeah, well, er... see you then, eh?
Yeah. Oh and I'll give you that, er... that address?
Yeah, okay. See ya.
Suzy!
Write down the name of that doctor you went to, darling, will you?
Oh, it's not for me.
Well, I didn't think it would be.
- Sonia? - Yeah.
Oh, God.
You know, I don't know why I work my head to the bone
just to get her out of trouble.
She obviously doesn't approve of me.
And if she marries him in six months' time,
he won't approve of me, either.
Is that why you want the address?
I've got a heart of gold, baby.
Darling, if you had a heart of gold, you'd have sold it years ago.
Talking about hearts of gold, how's that boyfriend of yours?
What are you looking for, the father image?
Well, I saw you chatting up his daughter.
What are you looking for, a sex substitute?
Touché.
Well, at least he's rich.
That's what we're here for, isn't it?
Take what we can from the visitors.
Gather nuts against a hard winter.
Well, I must go up to the better class of beach.
See ya.
He looks happy. What's been going on?
We're all happy, aren't we?
I thought you knew that.
Hi. Where's your tranny?
- My what? - Your tranny.
Don't tell me you've been on the beach without your transistor radio set.
Oh ho ho! It's not the done thing, you know, madam.
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid you'll never qualify as a grockle.
- What's a grockle? - Ssh!
They're very easily upset.
What happens to these places in the winter?
They close down.
What happens to you in the winter?
I close down too, don't I?
You don't come from round here, do you?
No, I came down a couple of years ago to do summer work.
Taking beach photographs.
I stayed on.
What do you do in the winter?
Photographs...
dinners...
dances...
You know, Mr Smith talking to Mrs Jones,
Mr Jones talking to the pretty little typist from the office.
'Course, there's always the Club, if things get bad.
Hmm?
The labour exchange.
But then, girls that drive around in Buick Rivieras
wouldn't have much to do with them, would they?
- They can please themselves. - Yeah.
Yeah, that's a fact of life, isn't it?
Girls in Buick Rivieras can please themselves.
- Don't you? - Don't I what?
Please yourself.
I thought the system worked it all out for you.
How did you hear about that?
Oh, someone told me. A girl.
How did she know?
Oh, quite a lot of people seem to know.
Aha!
So you have been discussing me.
- Have I? - Well how else would it come up?
Tell me, did she know me?
She knew you organised it.
Makes me sound like a gangster.
Aren't you?
That'll teach you to talk about me!
You look like a little girl eating that.
How old are you, anyway?
Twenty.
- You? - Twenty-three... or so.
- Or so? - Or so.
What do you do when you've trapped them?
- Who? - The girls you collect through the system.
That depends.
Are you setting a trap for me?
Of course.
And are you going to ask me back to your room?
Yes.
I see.
And are you going to come?
Of course.
Did you take all these?
Yes, most of them.
And?
I'm in your room.
Yes.
Yes, well, er... would you like a drink?
Oh.
I didn't want one, thanks.
It's just as well, isn't it?
I'm sorry. Doesn't matter.
I bet it doesn't happen when you visit your boyfriend's flats in London.
Never mind, I think I like this better.
Really?
Was it just a novelty for you?
No, I like it.
You got any coffee?
Yeah, on the, um...
on the table there.
Why have you got this?
Oh, I used it once in some photographs.
Those two on the wall.
Did you hope I'd go to bed with you?
It's always possible, isn't it?
Oh, yes, it's always possible.
And are you going to?
- No, I don't think so. - Why not?
Don't think I want to.
But tomorrow you might?
Are you a virgin?
No.
Did you think I was?
I hadn't thought about it.
Then why did you ask me if I was virtuous the other night?
I wanted to see what you'd say.
What the hell do you want?
Oh, sorry, er...
we just dropped by.
This is, er...
Well, be seeing you then.
With, or without?
Without.
It isn't going very well, is it?
What isn't?
My seduction.
I suppose that's what it looked like.
Isn't that what it was?
Well, it didn't look much like it to me.
Did you know that a scientist has said
that sex is possibly only an electromagnetic phenomenon?
It could be worked out mathematically.
Sounds a lot of fun.
So if anything had happened
it might only have been because of an electromagnetic formula.
Maybe I should put another shilling in the meter, hmm?
- Tell me, what do you do for a living? - I'm a model.
- With or without? - With.
Why have you got this?
There was some trouble once.
Careful, it's loaded.
What do you want me to do, tell you I love you?
No, you don't have to do that.
You don't usually.
Do you?
No.
Then you mustn't make an exception in my case.
Tell me, why did you ask me up here,
when there are so many other girls more certain?
Because I wanted to drive the Buick Riviera.
I'll bring it round for you.
Now you can see what we're doing, ladies and gentlemen.
We're not selling you these goods, we're giving 'em to you.
It's all advertising.
And now, to show you how generous we are,
I'm going to give away some of these magnificent...
Wait till he gets to the cutlery with the blades soldered to the handles.
It's the best part.
...and you could do with one. You, sir!
A comb for you, sir?
Save it for the suckers.
Well, you can please yourself,
but I can assure you all that no-one will go away from this stall dissatisfied.
The fair come here every year?
Yeah, it's traditional.
The end of the fair marks the end of the season.
Look, boys, why don't you go and play somewhere else
and leave some room for the customers, eh?
- What's that? - Forget it.
It isn't a matter of principle, it's petty larceny.
Anyway, I've got to work.
So along came a blackbird and pecked off her nose.
Ah, there you are, Taylor.
You been taking time off again?
Not particularly.
Oh, now, Taylor, we work on an individual average
of two hundred and fifty a day here.
You've only been bringing in one hundred and thirty-five.
Average, that is. One hundred and thirty-five.
They don't all want their photographs taken, do they?
We make memories here, Taylor.
That's our stock in trade: memories.
Things to look back on in the long winter evening.
That's what we're here for.
I thought for a moment we were in it for the money.
Well, you're not in it for the money, are you?
Your commission's gone down a bit too, hasn't it?
Oh, I'll take it in memories, Mr Larsey.
I'll sit through the long winter evenings remembering what money used to look like.
Yes, I expect you will.
Remembering how you used to make a hundred pounds a day.
It's happy thoughts like those, Mr Larsey, that keep me going.
You'll need something like that to keep you going
if I give you the sack, won't you?
Er... take these upstairs, will you, dear?
I don't think you'll give me the sack, Mr Larsey.
The season's almost over, and you won't be able to get anyone to replace me.
Besides, there are all those holiday-makers wandering around
with their wallets full of happy memories, aren't they?
You do wrong to mock, son. It's a short season.
If you don't make it when you can, you spend your winter living on credit.
Now, I spend my winter in Las Palmas.
Where do you spend yours?
Oh, I usually go for winter sports at the National Assistance Board.
You meet such a nice class of people there.
And another thing. Now that the fair's arrived,
the place'll be full of unlicensed itinerant photographers.
If you let them get on your pitch,
there won't be any commission at all for you, now will there?
They won't get on my pitch.
And remember,
if your camera gets damaged, you pay for it.
And do try and pull your socks up.
We all have our duty to society.
If your average doesn't go up a bit, I shall have to reconsider
whether or not we take you on again next year.
- Oh, but Mr... - Oh... I owe it to myself.
Yes, you do, Mr Larsey. Yes, you do.
Well, er... thank you, Mr Larsey.
Thank you.
Oh, that's all right, son.
♪ Just take a look at her, lookin' so pretty
♪ Smilin' at a picture of her favourite star
♪ Don't look much but he's worth about a million, and
♪ He's leanin' out the window of a Cadillac car
♪ She's in love with a teenage idol
♪ Yes she is
♪ I still remember when I took her to a show
♪ We sat holding hands in the very last row
♪ Star came on, and she jumped up out her seat and when... ♪
- Look after this, Harry, will you? - Yeah.
- Big night? - Yeah.
♪... with a teenage idol
♪ Yes she is ♪
Where have you been, Tink?
I was having a little business conference with my Board of Directors, actually.
- You remember Helga? - Yeah, how are you?
I'm well, thank you. Are you well, too?
You're in, Tinker. She fancies you.
- Great. - He's got a millionaire's daughter.
- Have you trapped her yet? - Yeah, I reckon.
Last affair of the season. Could be significant.
So where is she tonight?
What's it to me?
Come and have a dance.
♪ Drive you off to Paradise and you can be my bride
♪ She's in love with a teenage idol
- ♪ Yes she is... ♪ - Who's he?
Mr Cavern give him the okay?
Search me.
Give me the camera, will you?
- I'll see you. - Yeah.
Busy little man.
You working here now?
Well, it looks like it, doesn't it?
Got a licence?
- 'Course I've got a licence. - Can I see it?
It's at home.
Where's home? Darlington?
No, Huddersfield.
Come on, out.
There's a concession on this pitch, and it's mine.
I'll wait till I'm told to get out
by someone who can make it stick, sonny!
And you think I can't?
Well, that's your problem, isn't it?
Well, as you say, friend.
- Come on, get up. - Move aside, please.
Stand aside. Let me get through. Please, if you don't mind.
What's happening here?
There's a man here on his way to Huddersfield to get his licence.
He's forgotten his camera.
Any more fighting and I'll take away your licence.
Well, thanks lots.
I'll have no more trouble from you. If you've got any complaints,
you put them through the proper channels. You understand?
Come on, you, out!
- Here's your camera. - No, thanks.
Do you come here often?
Hmm?
I said, do you come here often?
Oh, no, it's me first time.
I only came down Monday.
- Down with the family? - Oh, no, I'm on me own. First time.
Me Mum didn't like it,
but I said, "Well, I'm not a kid, Mum."
I mean, what harm can come to me?
Yes, what harm can come to you down here?
Are you enjoying it?
Mmm.
It's lovely.
Yeah, it's all lovely, isn't it?
What's your name, love?
- Oh, Lorna. - Lorna? Oh, nice.
Dance?
I don't mind if I do.
♪ We're gonna fly now
♪ Over to Skye now
♪ Come fly with me
♪ Over the sea
♪ Hoots mon, there's a moose loose
♪ Somewhere in this hoose hoose
♪ Head over to Skye
♪ I wanna fly over the sea to Skye ♪
You ought to get this place cleaned up.
Oh, I give it a brush out every week or so.
Oh, you shouldn't let places get too untidy
or it makes it all the more difficult for you in the end.
That's what my Mum says.
"Clean as you go, cuts down the work."
Your Mum's a bit of a philosopher, isn't she?
Oh, she's not so bad.
She just thinks that it's best to learn these things now.
Then it's not so hard when you get married.
I don't know whether to get married when I'm nineteen
or wait till I'm twenty. What do you think?
What did you say?
Whether to wait till I'm twenty before I get married.
- Who to? - Oh, anybody.
You mean you're going to get married just to anybody?
Oh, no.
You know, whoever it is.
Oh.
Well, I should wait till you're twenty.
It'll give you more time to cut down on the woe.
- Tinker... - Mmm?
You do love me, don't you?
I tell you what I could do.
I could come and clean for you,
and I could cook some of your meals.
That would save you having to eat out, wouldn't it?
You know, I bet if I tried,
I could stay here and get a job...
and I wouldn't have to go back at all.
You could get a telly.
We could watch it in the evenings.
You been listening to this?
- What? - This.
It's music.
That's what they write music for.
You can't eat it. You can't smell it.
All you can do with it is to, er... listen to it.
Oh, I didn't even know it was on.
No.
Do you know it's quite possible that sex is merely
an electromagnetic phenomenon?
What?
That it's very likely that it has nothing to do with our ideas of
love or romance, or anything like that.
Get out.
Who says so?
A scientist.
Ooh, you don't half make everything sound dirty.
Tell me Lorna, have I ever...
brought you up here before?
Me?
That's funny.
I had the feeling you'd been up here before.
Thousands of times.
Thousands and thousands and thousands of times.
Well, I...
Look, Lorna, I've got to go out.
I've got to see a man.
Oh, I'll come with you.
Well, yes, but, um...
Well, it's private business.
Look, why don't you go back to the boarding house?
They might have television on.
I... I'll see you tomorrow.
- All right. - I've got a radio. We could go on the beach.
- Great. - Where shall I see you?
Um... outside the Pavilion? Twelve o'clock?
You do love me, don't you?
Yes, of course I do.
- Certain sure? - Certain sure.
- Till the day you die? - Till the day I die.
- Bye bye. - Bye bye.
- It was wonderful, Tinker. - Oh, good, good.
- Bye bye. - Bye bye.
- Bye. - Bye.
Oh, God.
Hi.
I thought you'd forgotten.
I couldn't get away yesterday.
I suppose you were tied up with all those
eligible young men in blue blazers.
Yes.
I wished you'd been with me last night.
You would have saved me from a terrible experience.
- That girl? - Oh, you saw her?
Mmm. I thought she looked quite pretty.
You know, I've come to the conclusion I never make the same mistake twice.
I make it hundreds of times.
Where do you want to go?
Where you like.
- I've got the car for the whole day. - All right.
- Hi. - Hi.
Got a good price for your old car?
Three rounds of ham, love, please.
There's no ham left.
What do you mean, left? It's only half past ten.
Chicken, then.
- There's no chicken. - No chicken?
- How many? - Three. And a packet of crisps.
Tink?
'Ere, do you want 'em in a bag?
No, darling, put them in a brassbound tea chest
and I'll send the porter round for them.
I'm only asking, aren't I?
- Tink? - Oh, yeah, here it is.
- No. - What do you mean, no?
Six and six.
Six and six?
- Darling, I'm a resident. - So am I.
Here, take that.
Look, Sammy, can you be outside the Pavilion, twelve o'clock?
Yes, I suppose so. Why?
There'll be a finch there. Her name's Lorna.
I don't lose my go on the system?
Oh, no. She's a bonus.
Tink, look, can I see you somewhere tonight?
- Somewhere quiet? - Sure, sure.
How about the bar of the Royalty Theatre?
- Fine, what time? - Seven thirty?
Okay.
Nobody comes here because...
nobody comes here.
They can't bear to leave their transistors.
Come on, let's go for a swim.
You were quick.
You have your costume on underneath?
I forgot to bring it.
You're shocked!
How marvellous. There's no-one about.
Do you like being a model?
I like the freedom.
Never knowing where you're going to be working next.
You don't like staying in one place?
Not for long. Do you?
No.
We're pretty much the same, then, aren't we?
What about marriage?
One day, I suppose.
Haven't you ever been in love?
Yes.
When I was sixteen.
He was much older than me.
I was so much in love, that I couldn't believe
I could go on living if he wasn't there.
It went on for a whole year.
What happened?
There just came a time when we never saw each other again.
Now I can hardly remember what he looks like.
What if I was to ask you to marry me?
Hmm.
You won't.
No.
Come on.
You'll kill yourself!
You might have broken your leg.
What's that?
Used to be a village.
Come on, I'll show it to you.
There was a storm one night, years ago.
All got washed away.
- What happened to all the people? - Oh, they got out in time.
They went to live somewhere else.
Seems strange, doesn't it?
All so simple, so explainable.
Yet it's as if one can't really understand it at all.
I come here a lot to take photographs.
That one looks as if it's still lived in.
Yeah, somebody did it up once to let off.
- I know how to get in. - No, we can't.
Come on, you can see what it used to look like.
Come in.
- Are you cold? - No.
No, it's just that it's all so dead.
- It's only a motorbike. - It frightened me.
Come on, let's see what else there is.
Let's have a look round.
Why do you stay down here?
I'd have thought you'd have gone somewhere bigger long ago.
- Do you like it here? - No.
No, not particularly.
Then why stay?
Perhaps I'm a little nervous of going anywhere bigger.
You're a very honest person, aren't you?
Think I'll go up to London to live.
Try and make a go of it there.
Why don't you like it down here?
I don't know.
All this bit about the season.
Just four months to make all you can, or die.
Nobody bothers to stop and see what should be done for the best,
only what should be done for more.
Isn't that the same everywhere?
Perhaps that's why I stay here.
Where it only happens for four months.
You know I could be down here another ten years
before I met somebody like you.
Honest Injun.
Oh, Tinker,
I should have thought you'd have been smarter
than to have got involved in holiday love affairs by now.
I've never had one.
Not a holiday love affair.
Honest Injun.
I love...
It isn't expected of you.
I wasn't going to say it because it was expected of me.
Even so, don't say it.
Let's go for a last swim.
Here, hope my wife's not here today.
She thinks I've got a respectable job.
Yeah, but my wife...
You take my wife...
and I wish you would, I've had enough of her.
But she's gone onto a diet
She eats nothing but coconuts and bananas.
Coconuts and bananas!
She doesn't get any thinner,
but boy, can she climb trees.
Here, have I told you the one about...
Hello, Ella.
Ella's husband's the star of the show.
Come on, we can watch it from over here.
Hello, Nidge.
...and there's this little man with the Woolworths outfit,
still swimming up and down, the ping-pong ball going up and down.
See, gets very annoyed because he spent a lot of money on this equipment.
So he goes right down to the bottom of the sea bed.
And he looks round, and there's this little man with a ping-pong ball
with a snorkel outfit still swimming along behind him.
So he gets out his underwater slate and his underwater pencil.
He writes on the slate:
"Tell me how do you manage to swim at such great depths
"with such inexpensive equipment?"
So the man snatches the slate from him and writes:
"Who's swimming? I'm drowning!"
And who better to drown with...
than The Sabres!
- Hi, Ella. - Do you see that friend of yours?
No, that other one. Willy.
- Said it was urgent. - Thanks.
All right, what have you done this time?
Just wanted to ask if you'd come to the wedding on Saturday.
Wondered if you'd be best man.
So it's goodbye Nidge.
Oh, I don't know.
I think I'll rather enjoy being married.
- There's a cold winter coming. - And a warm summer to follow. Hmm?
Yeah, it's got to come to an end sometime, hasn't it?
Every night, the same old thing.
Where's it all going on?
Where are we going tonight?
It's all happening.
We could hang about the Prom forever, couldn't we?
Waiting for the summer.
Waiting for the girls to arrive.
You've developed into a bit of a homespun philosopher, haven't you, eh?
Willy tells me that you're gone on that girl Nicola.
Are you?
Oh, come on! Just because you're an old married man.
Tell you what I'll do.
I'll be best man to you this time.
Just so long as you don't ask me to do it again. Okay?
- Thanks, Tink. - You'll need support.
Hey, Tinker. Where's it all going on tonight?
It's all going on somewhere, darling.
All you've got to do is find it.
- Seen Tinker? - He went along about ten minutes ago.
Said he was going to the theatre to pick up his camera.
Hop in, we're all going to find him.
Okay, come on, everyone. Hold tight. Right, let's go.
Hello, sonny.
Got a nice face.
I like a boy with a nice face.
No!
Any sharks in there?
Always there when they're wanted.
All right, what's this, then?
We were set upon by some rough men.
Oh, yeah? Do you want to lay a charge?
- What's the point? - Now look, I warn you lot.
- You cause more disturbances... - We didn't cause any disturbance.
Yeah, so you were saying.
But you cause any more, and we'll have you inside. All of you.
Thanks, you did well.
Bang goes winter in Las Palmas.
You'll have to pay for it.
Look, it happened because some outside photographer tried to muscle in.
It's your job to keep your pitch clear.
Where do your responsibilities start?
The other side of the profit margin?
My responsibilities are here.
Send this by post, will you, dear?
When's the last time somebody threw a bottle at you in here?
Oh, talk sense, lad. Some of us are good at one job,
- and some of us are organisers. - Organisers?
Look, I don't have to justify my position to you.
I've got myjob to do, and I do it well.
And another thing,
next year, you'd better look around for another place.
Maybe I won't be here next year.
You'll be here next year.
You lot always are.
Drifters.
Drifters... Drifters... Drifters...
Hello, Suzy.
Hello.
Oh, this is Tinker. I mean, Steven Taylor.
Hello.
You enjoying chatting up my girlfriend?
Oh, yes, of course.
You're the young man who's been seeing so much of my daughter.
Nicola told me about you.
I've got to get back in a minute.
- Yes, of course. Could I have my bill please? - Certainly, sir.
Thank you.
I wish I had a way with waiters.
Bye, Tinker.
Treat them like human beings.
- I'll see you tomorrow. - All right, fine.
Would you like to come up to the house and have a drink?
You have a way with human beings, too, don't you?
Why are you setting out to shock me?
- Is that what I'm doing? - I think so.
What would you say if I said I wanted to marry your daughter?
I would say, "I think that would be extremely unlikely."
She'd be a bit short of Buick Rivieras.
Oh, that isn't very important.
What Nicola has been accustomed to
is that she can do as she likes.
Most young women have that freedom these days.
They don't like to give it up too soon
for something as medieval as marriage.
- But they do, don't they? - Oh, yes.
Women always want the best of both worlds.
It comes of having no morals.
It's men who invent morals and they impose them on women.
It's very hard on them.
Tell me, do you think you'll marry Nicola?
I don't suppose she wants to get married.
Not sure I do either.
The dilemma of youth in a nutshell.
I suppose these days one doesn't have to grind the face of the poor,
One just...
waterskis over the top of them.
Hello. I didn't know you were coming.
Well, did you have a good swim?
No, we weren't swimming, actually. We were waterskiing.
Does that mean you never fall in, actually?
Seldom.
Yes, well, there's some cold beer in the house.
Do you mean to say you live here even in the winter?
That is why they built the houses.
Ah! The beautiful Nicola and the lovely Sylvie.
Darlings, come and talk to us. We're bereft.
- Something must be done. - You're absolutely right, but what?
- Have you seen any good plays lately? - No, darling, I don't play.
Is anyone for tennis?
Oh! You play, do you?
Yes.
Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
We must have a game sometime.
That'll be absolutely darling.
What was all that about?
He really is the most extraordinary fellow!
Haven't you read How to Win Friends and Influence People?
No, I couldn't get past the first chapter.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's just that they... they irritate me.
They seem to know instinctively what kind of person you are.
I don't seem to be able to get anywhere near you.
I thought you were the one
who took what you wanted and didn't get involved?
What's all this?
You did say a game of tennis would be absolutely darling.
- Now? - Why not?
- Ivor... - Ssh, darling.
You're interrupting a great psychological moment.
Changed your mind?
No, me old mate, I'm a man of iron.
Thank you.
After you.
- Right, you call. - Tails.
What do you mean, tails? You call rough or smooth.
- Rough. - Well, it's smooth.
- My service. - I'll take the Vauxhall Bridge end.
Are you ready?
Play.
Short side shot!
You should hit it, not kick it!
Fifteen love.
No, no, no, other side, there's a good fellow.
- I say, old boy... - Yo heave ho!
Yo heave ho!
Thirty love.
Steady!
One, two, three, four!
Yes, he's coming up for more!
Forty love.
What's that hole in the racket?
Whoa! He's scored a try. Well done!
Game to Mr Simmons.
I thought you said you could play?
Well done, Ivor! That'll show these...
Great shot, Ivor.
You know, that bit when you slammed him in the face.
Bloody funny. He nearly cried, you know.
I don't know where Nicola finds these strange creatures.
I ought to have picked badminton.
He's very good at that, too.
He would be.
You know, you people are unbeatable.
You always win on your level like I always win on mine.
I'll give you a lift back.
Have you got a boyfriend in London?
Sort of.
Do you sleep with him?
Yes.
I see.
I don't expect you do.
Yes, I do.
S Taylor.
Well known holiday romance, now available for the summer season.
Dogs walked,
cars washed,
girlfriends comforted.
It's... it's over, really.
Oh, God.
A whole evening wasted being angry.
Tell you what.
Come to a barbecue on Wilbury Beach tomorrow night.
- A friend of mine's getting married. - All right. I'll meet you there.
I don't know what time I can get away.
Okay.
I'm glad he's not important to you.
I'll be coming up to London to live,
so I shall be seeing quite a lot of you.
How wonderful.
In two or three weeks.
Good.
Something wrong?
No, no, it'll be marvellous.
- Well, I must go if I'm going. - You know something?
I've a funny feeling this isn't going to be as easy as it seems.
Nonsense.
Bye.
I now therefore propose a toast to the bride and groom.
The bride and groom!
And now, I should like to call on the best man
to propose a toast to the bridesmaids.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Since there aren't any bridesmaids...
Marriage has always seemed to me rather like...
like joining the public library, and then being told
you can only read one book for the rest of your life.
I once read that Samuel Johnson said that:
"Much might be made of a Scotsman, if he was caught young enough."
Nidge here isn't a Scotsman, but he's young, and he's...
they're both young.
I suppose it will be be all right. I wish them luck.
Now all that remains for me to do is to thank everybody for the telegrams.
Absent friends, and the great display of wedding gifts.
Uncle Jack...
for the chemical bucket.
Uncle George, for the tin hat and stirrup pump.
Mementos of happier days, when we all stood together,
and nobody had any side.
And now, since there aren't any bridesmaids,
and we've drunk to the bride and groom...
might as well drink to ourselves, God help us.
Ourselves!
Shame!
Not really what I'd call in any good taste, dear.
Where's the champagne?
How many of the boys got married last year, Willy?
Um... only Bill.
Oh, and Mike got married last winter.
And that's the last we saw of them.
You know, if you boys go on getting married at this rate,
I'll be the only one left, won't I?
You'll be left with Nicola. Can't be bad.
Hey, Tinker, they want you to read out the telegrams.
Then we're going to parade to the station.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy!
Ladies and gentlemen.
It seems there's still one more tribal rite to be performed.
I have to read the telegrams, wherever they are.
And the first one.
The first one reads: "Do not let your wife wear the trousers.
"They're ours," signed Moss Bros.
Hello, Ella.
You drunk?
You are drunk.
I'm not drunk.
I've been to a wedding.
I had three or four glasses of champagne.
Gets you into the spirit of things.
You have to be drunk before you come and see me?
- I'm not drunk. - Aren't you?
No, three or four glasses of champagne...
...gets you into the spirit of things.
Come on.
Where's Stan?
You know perfectly well where he is. He's at the theatre.
You are a bastard, Tinker.
Rotten bastard.
What have I done?
Why don't you get out?
I just came round to visit you. What's the matter with you?
To talk?
Maybe.
No.
All right then, no.
Look, what's the matter with you, baby?
I'm one of your winter birds, aren't I?
All through the summer, you can't move for pretty faces.
When the season's coming to an end,
you have to start warming up the winter material again, don't you?
Oh...
No, that wasn't what it was, love.
Do you know, there are hundreds of times
when I'd have given anything for you, or...
anybody, just to come round just to talk to me.
How was Stan's birthday?
Oh, he's all right.
Yeah...
Yeah, we're all all right, aren't we?
Underneath it all.
What's the matter with you?
The winter, I expect.
"Now is the winter of our discontent."
Oh, it's a long time yet.
Yeah, but it comes, doesn't it?
It comes.
- Are you asleep? - Mmm.
I used to come here a lot, didn't I?
Did you love me then?
Yes.
But not anymore?
No, not anymore.
Like you don't love me anymore.
No.
Don't we use people up, Ella,
at a hell of a rate?
You're crying.
Yes, I'm crying.
Ella?
- Ella... - No, please go away, Tinker.
- Ella, I... - Just leave me alone,
and go away, will you? Please.
- Seen Nicola? - Who?
- Nicola. - No.
Seen Nicola?
No, is she here?
I dunno. I thought you might have seen her.
Suzy said they were coming by boat.
That could be them now.
Get ready with the anchor!
Yeah, that's Suzy.
Man, she's stoned.
Can't see Nicola, though.
Instead of... there's no good covering the Prom and the station.
There's too many people. You're gonna have people everywhere.
Look, my idea is for next year,
instead of just covering the station and the Prom.
You've got to have people in the bowling alleys, 'cause all the other...
You're going to have to watch your step next year.
Yeah.
Where will you be?
Hey, where are you going?
It's time to start the wedding procession.
Right, quiet!
Quiet! Quiet!
In about five minutes, we start the bride and groom procession.
So all those of you that want torches,
come and collect them from here now.
All right, everybody who has...
Suzy!
Ivor, there seems to be some sort of parade going on.
- That's much more interesting. - Suzy!
Come on Ivor, don't be such a bore.
Suzy? It's me, Tinker.
Oh, hello.
What's up love? Had a bit too much?
Yeah, that's what I've had.
A bit too much.
You all right?
Something wrong?
Do you know...
I think something must be.
Something...
somewhere...
What's the matter, baby?
I don't think I can...
I can't.
It's all sex, isn't it?
Every man I've ever known.
Just sex.
Don't think I could stand another summer.
What's that?
It's a baby's bottle.
I found it.
I expect someone brought a baby here to look at the sea.
They looked at the sea, and went home to tea.
That's poetry.
That's poetry, all right.
Suzy, have you seen Nicola?
Hmm...
Did she say she was coming?
No.
She didn't say.
Wheeeee!
Aren't we all lovely, though?
You know...
you get all these people coming down here,
hoping to meet attractive people,
and here we are, ready and waiting.
Remember what you said to me once?
You said,
"There are only two kinds of people:
"the takers, and the taken."
We think we're the takers, don't we?
But what if we're being taken?
Yeah.
I'm gonna marry Sammy.
You're crazy.
I'd like to have a baby.
That's what I'd like.
No-one else ever asked me to marry them.
He did, so I will.
I'd like to have a baby.
Someone who'll just love me.
There goes the bride!
Down with the bride!
Down with the groom!
Throw him in the tomb!
Teach him a lesson!
Down with the groom!
Throw him in the tomb!
Down with the groom!
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!
I thought perhaps you weren't coming.
I was looking for you.
They're burying the season.
It's all over.
Come on.
I'm coming with you, you know.
D'you know that?
When you go back to London.
You'll just have to get rid of that boyfriend of yours.
He's finished. Over. Kaput.
And tell him a certain Steven Taylor, photographer, has moved in.
And then you can ring up all your important people
and tell them to use my pictures,
because they're so good.
You know, it's a funny thing.
I could stay down here for ever.
Seaside Don Juan.
One of the town's amenities.
Public convenience.
When do you leave, anyway?
Today.
I have to be in Rome on Wednesday.
Look, I didn't have any work for a week,
and my father asked me to come down and look after the house for him.
It was an accident I came here.
Rome?
Today?
For how long?
Two months. It's my work.
You knew about this yesterday?
Yes.
You knew about it before you came down here, didn't you?
Yes.
You took me...
You bloody took me!
No.
All right, you didn't.
Do you have to go back?
You could come up when I get back.
No.
Why not?
No.
Trains go out of here every Saturday
packed with girls that think they're going to keep in touch.
"Come up and see us," they say.
"Oh, I'll come up and see you. I'll write."
Then they'll write every day.
They won't be able to live without us.
They'll write,
and then, in three or four weeks, there aren't quite so many letters.
In a couple of months, they stop altogether.
It's nobody's fault. They mean it when they say it.
It's just that they go back to their everyday lives.
"See you next year," they say.
Usually, next year, they go and stay somewhere else.
Will you be coming down here next year?
Next year...
I was going to Greece.
Where have all the people gone?
They went to live somewhere else.
Oh, God, Nicola...
Oh, God.
You know, since we've known each other,
neither one of us has said "I love you."
I love you.
Tell me when I come up to London in two months' time.
We're going to throw the old piano into the sea
Know what I mean? You all pull your weight.
Straight down, then. Ready? One, two, three, up!
Hey, Tink!
Hey, come on! Hey, come on down!
When are you leaving?
About nine.
Hey, Tink, come on!
We're going to throw the piano in the sea!
Big gesture! Come on!
Well?
Write to me.
♪ Why are we waiting?
♪ Why are we waiting? ♪
- We're not waiting all day, you know. - Have another beer.
Right, ready?
One! A-two! A-three!
Well, that's another season burnt out.
Yeah.
You've got to keep jumping about, that's all.
Jumping about like there's no tomorrow.
Yeah.
♪ I'm telling you how
♪ I'm telling you why
♪ I'm telling you when
♪ I'm telling you now
♪ Get onto the system and shine
♪ Moving with the system, it's fine
♪ When you reach the end of the line
♪ Then it's goodbye
♪ Get onto the system and shine
♪ Moving with the system, so fine
♪ When you reach the end of the line
♪ You're alone
♪ You're alone ♪
SUBTITLES BY POWERHOUSE FILMS LTD